Itachi kun
by CrazyFrog07
Summary: He really didn't mind when Tobi got a pet weasel. In fact for the first few days he just ignored it. But after weeks of the insistent calling of Itachi kun started to get on his nevers. [oneshot]


"Itachi-san!" Tobi screamed into the Uchiha's ears.

"What?" Itachi asked clearly annoyed. Itachi had been reading a book peacefully until the orange masked head ache came to bother him about something.

"Look!" Tobi reached behind his back to get something. Itachi swore if it was another flower…But what Tobi brought out from behind his back was not a flower, but a small, brown weasel.

Itachi blinked and stared at it.

"You got a weasel." Itachi said plainly.

"Yes! And guess what else?" Tobi asked joyfully.

"…" Itachi refused to answer the ignorant fool.

"I named him Itachi. Itachi-kun!" Tobi yelled as he held the small weasel above his head. The weasel seemed like a frightened little thing in the hands of Tobi.

"Put it outside, it's probably diseased." Itachi said as he turned his attention back to his book.

"Oh no Itachi-san, I got this weasel at the pet store. They said that he had all his shots." Tobi said as he put the frightened weasel back on the ground.

"…Okay, let me ask you this, where did you get the money and how did you get it past Deidara?" Itachi asked not looking up from his book.

"Oh, I got the money from Kakazu's piggy bank, and Deidara has been in a comatose state ever since he accidentally blew up his work shop in the back of his room. So he doesn't know." Tobi said as he was petting the weasel.

Itachi held an impassive expression on his face as he looked down at the weasel and the weasel looked at him with pleading eyes. They almost seemed to be saying 'Please save me from the psycho man in the orange mask!'

"Whelp, I better be getting to bed. Goodnight Itachi-san!" Tobi yelled. He picked up the weasel and carried it of to his room.

Itachi ignored Tobi as he left and just kept his attention on the book.

A few weeks later

"I can't take it anymore!" Itachi yelled. He threw his hands up to cover his face and ran his fingers down his face, pulling at the skin under his eye.

Kisame looked at his partner with a worried expression on his face. He was wondering what happened to the cool, calm, and collected Itachi he knew.

"…What can't you take anymore Itachi?" Kisame asked with hesitation, afraid that the Uchiha may snap at him.

"Tobi! And his damn weasel!" Itachi said as he pointed his finger across the room to where Tobi and Itachi-kun were playing. It was a wonder Tobi didn't hear Itachi yelling from across the room.

"All the insistent calling of 'Itachi-kun!' 'Itachi-kun!' 'Itachi-kun!' I just can't take it!" Itachi glared at the little fur ball across the room.

"Then why don't you just kill it?" Kisame asked as he too looked at Tobi and the weasel.

"Heh Heh, oh I will…oh I will" Itachi said in a really disturbing manner.

Kisame cocked an eyebrow while looking at his now insane teammate. He mouthed okay and turned around to go to the kitchen to get him self something to eat.

That night Itachi crept into Tobi's room. He made his way over to where the unsuspecting weasel was sitting. He raised the knife in his hand above his head and he was about to bring it down when he stopped and stared at the weasel.

He watched the weasel breath slowly. He brought the knife back down to his side. He couldn't kill it. And he really didn't know why he couldn't since he had killed his family in cold blood, so he surly could've killed a weasel. But he just couldn't.

But the weasel still had to go, so he picked it up and carried to the mouth of their cave hide out. By now the weasel was awake but not really doing anything. Itachi got to the mouth of the cave and chucked the weasel out of the cave.

The weasel gave a yelp as it hit the ground. It turned and ran into the forest away from Itachi.

Itachi went back to his room and wrote something on a piece of paper and then stood up again. He went back to Tobi's room and placed the folded piece of paper and Tobi's bedside table.

The next morning Itachi was sitting in the kitchen having some breakfast, when Tobi came in sobbing and holding the folded piece of paper that Itachi had left at Tobi's bedside the night before.

"Itachi-san!"

"…" Itachi didn't look up from his food.

"Itachi-kun has been kidnapped!" Tobi sobbed as he held the piece of paper out for Itachi to take and read. Itachi didn't take it because he was the one who wrote it. He didn't need to read it again and he didn't want to.

When Tobi noticed that Itachi hadn't taken the piece of paper he unfolded it him self and started to read out loud.

"We've got your weasel and you will never get it back!" Tobi cried even more when he read this out loud.

Now Itachi could have come up with something more intelligent to write but felt it would be useless for an idiot like Tobi, so he settled for something short and to the point.

"Noooo! I'll never see Itachi-kun again." Tobi wailed. He fell to his knees and started shaking.

Itachi ignored him when he got up to leave.

'Tobi if you couldn't recognize my hand writing on that note then you really are an ingrate.' Itachi thought as he left the sniveling Tobi in a heap on the ground.

* * *

A/N: WOW! That was one crappy story. But it was in my head and I just had to get it out. It was suposed to be funnier but oh well. Anyway reviews are nice. 


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